Success Vs Values

GUILT

• Do you berate yourself? “Typical me… Can’t do anything right..”
• Or do you feel hopeless & think “I knew there was no point trying, I’m so useless….”
• Or do you look at others & think “No-one else does this, I’m the only one as bad as this…”

1. Mistakes are how we learn. If we never made them, we’d never improve at anything.
2. We’re human. So we never get everything right all the time, slips / setbacks help us appreciate the successes when they come – cos we’ve EARNED them. Remember- the easy stuff is easy!!
3. Sometimes we need a break. From the pressure we all find ourselves under these days – whether at work, college, SM, society, family… we want off the hamster wheel!! So we break the plan, ‘treat’ ourselves, don’t care for a while..

Keep Everyone Happy

1. We can’t control others, only ourselves.
2. How others think, act, behave, is a reflection on THEM, not us.
3. Self Esteem & Self Confidence are about…..? Others? The clue is in the wording – it’s about SELF. How we regard, treat, talk to, ourselves plays a huge role in how we see ourselves. A million people can tell you you’re great / look well / doing well, but that won’t matter if YOU don’t feel / see / believe it. Looking outside yourself, to feel good about yourself, is called ‘External Validation”. It can work at times but often will leave you feeling uncertain & anxious – cos let’s face it, any external factor can change at any time. Head-wrecking.

Thoughts are not always true

“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing with #Anxiety. Typical thoughts that

“What if I fail again….?”

“I’ll never change…”

“They’ll think I’m stupid….”

If you can find 3 facts that prove your thought (I mean Judge Judy would buy them!) then the thought is probably true, & you might need to look at changing behaviour (study more, learn how to change, keep away from horrible people)

But if all you’re coming up with is fears, predictions, memories, THESE ARE NOT FACTS! & you need to look at changing your thinking.

Remember- it’s not the event, it’s how you re-act to it that matters.

It’s not the situation, it’s your perspective, that dictates how you feel

Make your thoughts PROVE that they’re true.

Demand rock solid EVIDENCE.

Use this worksheet to help work through a ‘hard to dispute’ thought..

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk//docs/TheCourtCase.pdf

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE.