GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong – how do you react?- Do you berate yourself? “Typical me… Can’t do anything right..”
- Or do you feel hopeless & think “I knew there was no point trying, I’m so useless….”
- Or do you look at others & think “No-one else does this, I’m the only one as bad as this…”
- Mistakes are how we learn. If we never made them, we’d never improve at anything.
- We’re human. So we never get everything right all the time, slips / setbacks help us appreciate the successes when they come – cos we’ve EARNED them. Remember- the easy stuff is easy!!
- Sometimes we need a break. From the pressure we all find ourselves under these days – whether at work, college, SM, society, family… we want off the hamster wheel!! So we break the plan, ‘treat’ ourselves, don’t care for a while..
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Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
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Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
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Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
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GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us. We see their response to us as an indication of how WE are, rather than an opinion that THEY have (which may, or may not, be true.) If you use other people’s moods, opinions, actions or behaviours to determine how you see yourself, and subsequently feel, then you’ve an exhausting journey ahead of you! Why?- We can’t control others, only ourselves.
- How others think, act, behave, is a reflection on THEM, not us.
- Self Esteem & Self Confidence are about…..? Others? The clue is in the wording – it’s about SELF. How we regard, treat, talk to, ourselves plays a huge role in how we see ourselves. A million people can tell you you’re great / look well / doing well, but that won’t matter if YOU don’t feel / see / believe it. Looking outside yourself, to feel good about yourself, is called ‘External Validation”. It can work at times but often will leave you feeling uncertain & anxious – cos let’s face it, any external factor can change at any time. Head-wrecking.
Latest Blogs Educational, Helpful and Informative
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing with #Anxiety. Typical thoughts that
“What if I fail again….?”
“I’ll never change…”
“They’ll think I’m stupid….”
If you can find 3 facts that prove your thought (I mean Judge Judy would buy them!) then the thought is probably true, & you might need to look at changing behaviour (study more, learn how to change, keep away from horrible people)
But if all you’re coming up with is fears, predictions, memories, THESE ARE NOT FACTS! & you need to look at changing your thinking.
Remember- it’s not the event, it’s how you re-act to it that matters.
It’s not the situation, it’s your perspective, that dictates how you feel
Make your thoughts PROVE that they’re true.
Demand rock solid EVIDENCE.
Use this worksheet to help work through a ‘hard to dispute’ thought..
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk//docs/TheCourtCase.pdf
JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE.
Latest Blogs Educational, Helpful and Informative
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
Positive Thinking?!!
This phrase drives me mad!! Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion (“I should be happy. Why am I not happy?”) above all others, is ruining our peace of mind & sense of wellbeing. Life is NOT positive. It’s made up of lots of different experiences- some good, some bad, some easy, some really challenging. We experience dozens of emotions every day, which reflect all those experiences. Seeing one as ‘right’ or ‘better’ above all the others, negates the rest. NOT GOOD. A much more relevant & helpful question (than endless musings on our happiness) is “WHY am I doing what I’m doing?” Then, even if the task is boring, or mundane, or difficult, or painful, or really daunting, that sense of purpose changes it from being “good” or “bad” to MEANINGFUL. So – the crappy job that’s a pain in the arse, but is helping you save for a car/holiday/deposit on your 1st home, that degree /course that’s REALLY tough, but gets you that’s dream job, that gym programme that’s heartache on a Sat morning, but you feel so strong afterwards, that surgery / treatment that’s so scary, but gives you the best chance to finally get well – now we know what we’re at. It’s the WHY. Don’t make “happy” your priority – and don’t worry trying to make everything ‘Positive’. It’s PURPOSE that gets us through the day.Latest Blogs Educational, Helpful and Informative
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…
-
Positive Thinking?!!
Our pre-occupation with all things “positive” & our relentless drive for one emotion “I should be happy”…
-
Thoughts are not always true
“Where’s the EVIDENCE?” is a simple, but brilliant question, when dealing…
-
Keep Everyone Happy
We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us…
-
GUILT
When you make a mistake, or have a ‘slip’ on your health/food/study plan, or get something wrong…
-
Success Vs Values
What’s important to you? What matters in your life? An outcome? Or how you achieved it?…